I can still picture the conference room at the monastery outside of Twin Falls, Idaho. I was an inquirer in the Presbyterian Church (USA) ordination process, and was meeting with my Committee on Preparation for Ministry (CPM). This annual consultation was taking longer than I thought it would. I was asked about my sense of call, and I shared some of the diverse ministry experiences I’d had over the years and the different things I enjoyed about them all.
The chair of the CPM then leaned in closer to me and said, “So…what I hear you saying is that you don’t have a call.”
“No, I have a pretty clear sense of call to ministry – I’m just trying to figure out what that looks like for me.”
CPM Chair: “So…you don’t really have a call then, right?”
As you can imagine, it was a frustrating conversation. I knew colleagues in seminary whose sense of call was very clear: “I want to be an associate pastor for two years, then I’ll be a solo pastor at a small to medi- um sized church for 4–6 years, and then I’ll become head of staff at a medium to large sized church).”
But that wasn’t me. And I was okay with that. I’d tried camping ministry, youth ministry, college ministry and clinical pastoral education, and I loved all of it. I didn’t see that as a problem, as this other pastor clearly did.
Since seminary, I’ve served three churches, primarily doing youth ministry. After some frustrating and difficult experiences with a couple churches, and feeling like I really needed a break from parish ministry, I found myself doing pulpit supply and trying to figure out what was next.
But here’s the thing: I’ve always had other interests in addition to ministry. I’m not saying that makes me unique, but I do know some pastors who are so fo- cused on their churches and ministries, they often forget to practice some good self-care and spend time doing things they love.
About three years ago, I started drawing again. I used to love to draw as a kid, and I began to reconnect with that interest. I took some online classes, received a self-care grant from the Presbytery of Chicago and bought a lot of art supplies, and began finding ways to incorporate art into my ministry.